Many of us, men and women alike, go through various kinds of abuse and not know it. Abuses come in various forms. it could be Physical, Emotional, Economic, or Sexual. Knowing that you are being abused is the first step towards curbing the violent act.
Physical abuse includes circumstances where there is application of physical force. it may be in forms of grabbing, slapping, choking, shoving, biting, stabbing, the list goes on, or hitting with objects such as shoes, belts, whip or any other object. Most people, especially women, view physical abuse and the worst form of abuse. This is not true. Most women who suffer physical abuse have often times passed through other kinds of abuses.
Emotional Abuse, in my opinion is what a larger percentage of women and some men encounter in their marriages or relationships. You experience emotional abuse when your spouse or partner prevents you from communicating with friends and relatives, embarrasses you in public, calls you demeaning names like ugly, stupid, useless, bad etc, keeps you from going out of the house, accuses you falsely of adultery or infidelity, spends nights out without your knowledge, follows you around to check up on you, threatens to kill you, your children or relatives, shouts at you, fails to speak to you and intimidates you just because he/she feels they can.
Economic abuse. Yes people, it’s a form of abuse. This happen when your spouse or partner denies you access to money-some women are even denied money they have earned from work-,prevents you from getting or keeping a job, makes all financial decisions without consulting you, sells joint property without your consent, buys property or ‘valuables’ without your consent and of course dispossession of property by relatives at the demise of a spouse. Most people, especially those of us from Sub-Saharan Africa can relate very well with this last part. Widows go through hell in the hands of husbands relatives after a husband passes on, especially if he dies intestate.[this topic shall be discussed on a later post].
Sexual abuse comes in several forms. It may be forceful sex between a boyfriend and girlfriend, it may also come as sexual harassment, you know..when a person ask for sex in return for a favor-dear men, am I hitting home?, but then again, women also ask for sexual favors, right? So, lets not be bias. There’s also sexual offense between spouses/partners. I know most people would not agree that there could be sexual abuse in a marriage, but the truth is, there are lots of them. For example, when a spouse is made to have sex against his/ her wish even during ailments, when violence or threats were used to engage in sexual act. It doesn’t matter if you are married to this woman, you must respect the fact that she has feelings too. She must not want it when you do- that is why a little foreplay is required to get her in the mood when she’s out of it. Ok men, put your knives down, I know women come at you when you are tired from work and need to rest too. Lol.
Sexual abuse is also an unlawful coercive sexual act through direct or indirect contact with the anus, breasts, penis, buttocks, thighs, vagina of a person. In this day of technology, so many things are put up on different sites and Internet handles. But, it would be pertinent to note that when you put up a picture of a persons genital organ on a public site or even send to another individual, you have committed a sexual offense. Another, is the insertion of any part of the body of a person, animal, or object into the vagina , penis or anus of another person. I know how creative partners want to be in bed, and all that. But, make sure that whoever you are having intercourse with shares the same sexual innovation. That way it would be mutual and not an offense.
So let us learn to respect our bodies and each other to avoid committing a crime by violating the rights of a human being.